Author: admin

Marseilles,
23rd July 1899.
My dear Christina,
Your very, very welcome wire just came. By next Sunday we arrive in London, Albert Dock. We are a party of four: myself, another Sannyasin, a Calcutta boy going to study in America, and Miss [Margaret] Noble. Miss Noble is a young lady from Wimbledon, near London, who has been working in India on the education of girls.
Our stay in England will not be long, I am afraid, as this is neither the season nor am I in fit condition to work much. Anyhow, we will be in London a few weeks–at least myself–then go to the U.S. We will talk over all this and infinite things besides when we meet. I do not think even English summer days are long enough for all the chatter I will assail you with.
We go to Wimbledon for a day or two, and then I come back to London and find lodgings for myself and make plans.
Come to the Dock if that is possible and discreet. Yes, it is discreet, as there is a lady in the party and others will come to meet her. Only, Christina, don’t if you feel the least tired or unwell. I hope you are enjoying London immensely.
The Orientals do not like any effusion of feeling. They are trained to hide all expression.
Is Mrs. Funkey [Mary Caroline Funke] with you? If so, give her my best love.
I am much, much better just now. I am really quite another man this time. I was nearly dead in Calcutta when I started, but this voyage has improved me immensely.
Hoping soon to see you,
Ever yours in the Lord,
Vivekananda.

telegram
to: Christina Grinnstidel [Greenstidel]
23 Crowhurst Rd., Angell Rd.
Briaton, Ldn.
30 July 1899
Golconda due docks 6 am Monday. 137

THE LYMES,
WOODSIDES, WIMBLEDON,
3rd August, 1899.
MY DEAR JOE,
We are in at last. Turiyananda and I have beautiful lodgings here. Saradananda’s brother is with Miss Noble and starts Monday next.
I have recovered quite a bit by the voyage. It was brought about by the exercise on the dumb-bells and monsoon storms tumbling the steamer about the waves. Queer, isn’t it? Hope it will remain. Where is our Mother, the Worshipful Brahmini cow of India? She is with you in New York, I think.
Sturdy is away, Mrs. Johnson and everybody. Margo is rather worried at that. She cannot come to U.S. till next month. Already I have come to love the sea. The fish Avatâra is on me, I am afraid — good deal of him in me, I am sure, a Bengali.
How is Alberta, . . . the old folks and the rest of them? I had a beautiful letter from dear Mrs. Brer Rabbit; she could not meet us in London; she started before we arrived.
It is nice and warm here; rather too much they say. I have become for the present a Shunyavâdi, a believer in nothingness, or void. No plans, no afterthought, no attempt, for anything, laissez faire to the fullest. Well, Joe, Margo would always take your side on board the steamer, whenever I criticised you or the Divine cow. Poor child, she knows so little! The upshot of the whole is, Joe, that there cannot be any work in London, because you are not here. You seem to be my fate! Grind on, old lady; it is Karma and none can avoid. Say, I look several years younger by this voyage. Only when the heart gives a lurch, I feel my age. What is this osteopathy, anyway? Will they cut off a rib or two to cure me? Not I, no manufacturing of . . . from my ribs, sure. Whatever it be, it will be hard work for him to find my bones. My bones are destined to make corals in the Ganga. Now I am going to study French if you give me a lesson every day; but no grammar business — only I will read and you explain in English. Kindly give my love to Abhedananda, and ask him to get ready for Turiyananda. I will leave with him. Write soon.
With all love etc.,

VIVEKANANDA.

(Original in Bengali)

LONDON,
10th August, 1899.
MY DEAR RAKHAL,
I got a lot of news from your letter. My health was much better on the ship, but, after landing, owing to flatulence it is rather bad now. . . . There is a lot of difficulty here — all friends have gone out of town for the summer. In addition my health is not so good, and there is a lot of inconvenience regarding food etc. So in a few days I leave for America. Send an account to Mrs. Bull as to how much was spent on purchase of land, how much on buildings, how much on maintenance etc.
Sarada writes that the magazine is not going well. . . . Let him publish the account of my travels, and thoroughly advertise it beforehand — he will have subscribers rushing in. Do people like a magazine if three-fourths of it are filled with pious stuff? Anyway pay special attention to the magazine. Mentally take it as though I were not. Act independently on this basis. “We depend on the elder brother for money, learning, everything” — such an attitude is the road to ruin. If all the money even for the magazine is to be collected by me and all the articles too are from my pen — what will you all do? What are our Sahibs then doing? I have finished my part. You do what remains to be done. Nobody is there to collect a single penny, nobody to do any preaching, none has brains enough to take proper care of his own affairs, none has the capacity to write one line, and all are saints for nothing! . . . If this be your condition, then for six months give everything into the hands of the boys — magazine, money, preaching work, etc. If they are also not able to do anything, then sell off everything, and returning the proceeds to the donors go about as mendicants. I get no news at all from the Math. What is Sharat doing? I want to see work done. Before dying, I want to see that what I have established as a result of my lifelong struggle is put in a more or less running condition. Consult the Committee in every detail regarding money matters. Get the signatures of the Committee for every item of expenditure. Otherwise you also will be in for a bad name. This much is customary that people want some time or other an account of their donations. It is very wrong not to have it ready at every turn. . . . By such lethargy in the beginning, people finally become cheats. Make a committee of all those who are in the Math, and no expenditure will be made which is not countersigned by them — none at all! I want work, I want vigour — no matter who lives or dies. What are death and life to a Sannyasin?
If Sharat cannot rouse up Calcutta, . . . if you are not able to construct the embankment this year, then you will see the fun! I want work — no humbug about it. My respectful salutations to Holy Mother.
Yours affectionately,

VIVEKANANDA.

C/O MISS NOBLE,
21A HIGH STREET, WIMBLEDON.
August, 1899.
MY DEAR MARIE,
I am in London again. This time not busy, not hustling about but quietly settled down in a corner — waiting to start for the U.S. America on the first opportunity. My friends are nearly all out of London in the country and elsewhere, and my health not sufficiently strong.
So you are happy in the midst of your lakes and gardens and seclusion in Canada. I am glad, so glad to know that you are up again on top of the tide. May you remain there for ever!
You could not finish the Raja-Yoga translation yet — all right, there is no hurry. Time and opportunity must come if it is to be done you know, otherwise we vainly strive.
Canada must be beautiful now, with its short but vigorous summer, and very healthy.
I expect to be in New York in a few weeks, and don’t know what next. I hope to come back to England next spring.
I fervently wish no misery ever came near anyone; yet it is that alone that gives us an insight into the depths of our lives, does it not?
In our moments of anguish, gates barred for ever seem to open and let in many a flood of light.
We learn as we grow. Alas! we cannot use our knowledge here. The moment we seem to learn, we are hurried off the stage. And this is Mâyâ!
This toy world would not be here, this play could not go on, if we were knowing players. We must play blindfolded. Some of us have taken the part of the rogue of the play, some heroic — never mind, it is all play. This is the only consolation. There are demons and lions and tigers and what not on the stage, but they are all muzzled. They snap but cannot bite. The world cannot touch our souls. If you want, even if the body be torn and bleeding, you may enjoy the greatest peace in your mind.
And the way to that is to attain hopelessness. Do you know that? Not the imbecile attitude of despair, but the contempt of the conqueror for things he has attained, for things he struggled for and then throws aside as beneath his worth.
This hopelessness, desirelessness, aimlessness, is just the harmony with nature. In nature there is no harmony, no reason, no sequence; it was chaos before, it is so still.
The lowest man is in consonance with nature in his earthy-headness; the highest the same in the fullness of knowledge. All three aimless, drifting, hopeless — all three happy.
You want a chatty letter, don’t you? I have not much to chat about. Mr. Sturdy came last two days. He goes home in Wales tomorrow.
I have to book my passage for N.Y. in a day or two.
None of my old friends have I seen yet except Miss Souter and Max Gysic, who are in London. They have been very kind, as they always were.
I have no news to give you, as I know nothing of London yet. I don’t know where Gertrude Orchard is, else would have written to her. Miss Kate Steel is also away. She is coming on Thursday or Saturday.
I had an invitation to stay in Paris with a friend, a very well-educated Frenchman, but I could not go this time. I hope another time to live with him some days.
I expect to see some of our old friends and say good day to them.
I hope to see you in America sure. Either I may unexpectedly turn up in Ottawa in my peregrinations or you come to N.Y.
Good-bye, all luck be yours.

Ever yours in the Lord,

VIVEKANANDA.

The Lymes, Woodside
Wimbledon, England
6 August 1899

My dear Mother,
Your letter directed to Sturdy at hand. I am very thankful for your kind words. As for me I don’t know what I am to do next or anything to do at all. On board the steamer I was all right, but since landing feeling quite bad again. As to mental worry there has been enough of late. The aunt whom you saw – had a deep laid plan to cheat me and she & her people contrived to sell me a house for 6,000 Rs. or £ 400 and I bought for my mother in good faith. Then they would not give me possession, hoping that I would not go to court for shame of taking forcible possession as a Sannyasin.
I do not think I have spent even one rupee from what you and others gave me for the work. Cap. Sevier gave me 8,000 Rs. with the express desire of helping my mother with. This money, it seems, has gone to the dogs. Beyond this nothing has been spent on my family or even on my own personal expenses
My food $ c being paid for by the Khetri raja & more than half of that went to the Math every month. Only if Brahmananda spends some in the lawsuit*  as I must not be robbed that way–if he does I will make it good anyway if I live to do it.
The money which I got in Europe & America by lecturing alone I spent just as I like but every cent I got for the work has been accounted for & is in the Math, & the whole thing ought to be clear as daylight if Brahmananda never cheated me. I don’t believe he will ever cheat me. I got a letter at Aden from Saradananda that they were preparing an account. I have not received any yet.
I have no plans yet nor care to make any. I neither wish to work. Let the Mother find other workers. I have my burden enough already.
Ever your devoted son,
Vivekananda

* Lawsuit against the aunt

 

RIDGELY MANOR
STONE RIDGE, N.Y.
31st August ’99
MY DEAR ISABEL —

Many thanks for your kind note I will be so so glad to see you. Miss M’cLeod is going to write you to stop a day and night here on your way to the west.

My love to the holy family in Chicago and hope soon to be able to come west and have great fun.So you are in Greenacre at last. Is this the first year you have been in? How do you like the place? If you see Miss Farmer** of course kindly convey her my kindest regards and to all the rest of my friends there.

Ever yours affly

Vivekananda

** Miss Sarah Farmer, the founder of Greenacre

 

2nd September ’99*

My dear Christina:

I hope by this time you are much better. I am getting physically better every day, though mentally not much.

The London work seems to fall to pieces. The friends over there are all shaky even Sturdy. Anyway in Mrs. Bull & Miss McLeod I have very strong friends. They stand by me here, through thick and thin.

Life is a series of fights and disillusionments is it not?

Well I am seeking some quiet if I can, before I plunge into work again. One has to work to gain a livelihood even. Good that it is so, it keeps us straight.

How is Mrs. Funkey? Where are you both now? I am glad though that in this life I have got a number of staunch friends that will stand by me, whether I am in good or bad circumstances, whether I am ill or well, & you are two of them.

I am rather happy these few days. It is so quiet here and everybody is good. Days are passing anyway, and I am learning to be contented.

The secret of life is not enjoyment but education through experience. But we are killed off the moment we begin really to learn. That seems to many a potent argument for a future existence….

I hope soon to be able to come to Detroit. Everywhere it is better to have a whirlwind come over the work. That clears the atmosphere & gives us a true insight into the nature of things. We begin, anew but on adamantine foundations.

I am strong very strong now-I always am when left to stand alone. May you be strong very strong always.

Ever yours with love and blessings,

Vivekananda

Ridgely Manor,
4th September, 1899.
My Dear Mother,
It is an awful spell of the bad turn of fortune with me last six months. Misfortune follows me ever wherever I go. In England, Sturdy seems to have got disgusted with the work; he does not see any asceticism in us from India. Here no sooner I reach than Olea gets a bad attack.
Shall I run up to you? I know I cannot be of much help, but I will try my best in being useful.
I hope everything will soon come right with you, and Olea will be restored to perfect health even before this reaches you. Mother knows best; that is all about me.
Ever yours affectionately,
Vivekananda.

 

RIDGELY MANOR,
14th September, 1899.
MY DEAR STURDY,
I have been simply taking rest at the Leggetts’ and doing nothing. Abhedananda is here-he has been working hard.
He goes in a day or two to resume his work in different places for a month. After that he comes to New York to work.
I am trying to do something in the line you suggested, but don’t know how far an account of the Hindus will be appreciated by the Western public when it comes from a Hindu.

Well, I was given some correspondence between you and Miss Noble to read the other day-I am sorry we could not come up to your ideal. But my experience of life is we so rarely find a person who comes up to that. Then again it is almost impossible for anyone to keep steady on the plane we assign to him in the ideal. We are so human, and liable to change for good or worse. At the same time like the earth’s rotating we are always leaving the changes in us out of calculation, and attribute it all to the external ideals.

Mrs. Johnson [Mrs. Ashton Jonson]-is of opinion, no spiritual person ought to be ill-it also seems to her now that my smoking is sinful &,c. &c.

That was Miss Muller’s reason for leaving me, my illness. They may be perfectly right, for aught I know, and you too, but I am what I am. In India the same defects, plus eating with Europeans have been taken exception to by many. I was driven out of a private temple by the owner for eating with Europeans. I wish I was malleable enough to be moulded into whatever one desired but unfortunately I never saw a man who could satisfy everyone. Nor can anyone who has to go to different places possibly satisfy all

When I first came to America, they ill-treated me if I had not trousers on. Next I was forced to wear cuffs and collars, else they would not touch me etc., etc. They thought me awfully funny if I did not eat what they offered etc., etc. . . .
In India the moment I landed they made me shave my head and wear “Kaupin” (loin cloth), with the result that I got diabetes etc. Saradananda never gave up his underwear — this saved his life, with just a touch of rheumatism and much comment from our people.
I hear also that there has been some talk about the money you gave me., I got £500 = 7500 Rs.+ £500 = 7500 Rs. from Miss Soutter [Souter], Miss Muller gave through Goodwin 30,000 Rs. total 45,000 Rs. Miss Muller got us to buy a piece of land which cost 40,000 Rs: and about 4,000 to level it and fill up the huge gaps in it, as it was a dockyard. I have a building on it-not large-and a chapel and library &c. That has          been paid for by the Indian friends-and Mrs. Bull of America. The land alone with the improvements will cover more than the sum I got from my English friends. An inquiry in the Registrar’s records of the Howrah Dist. Bengal will show the truth of what I state nor have I even spent a penny of the money given to me by anyone in any country for my work on myself. For my own private expenses I in America used to get money by lecturing or writing in the papers. In India Mrs. Sevier and the Rajah of Khetri used to give me little sums to cover it. Whenever you think it necessary the accounts of every penny the Eng. people gave me is ready. Miss Noble’s school was started with funds I got in India from the Maharajah of Kashmir and my Madras publications and her own money largely. Mrs. Johnson thinks the attitude of Miss Noble towards me is very unsatisfactory-and I am responsible for that. I do not know how I can be responsible for ideas another person has of me of which I am not even cognisant of!!! How could I know your or Mrs. Johnson’s present mental attitude towards me if you did not through the American friends let me know of it? I am told there has been some discussion about some funds between you and Miss Noble-am I to be responsible for that too? Did I write to you to give me any money? I don’t remember myself asking for pecuniary help from anybody anywhere. If they helped me of their own accord I took it, when they gave it to me personally I spent it; mostly on others; when for the work-it has been spent on the work. I can understand well how differences of opinion tastes and ideals should naturally arise in the course of years-but how so much hatred and dislike may slowly and without any warning expression, gather round little trifling personal peculiarities I cannot understand.

I so long thought it was only the fault of enslaved races like mine; but that manlier races like yours should also have it, and suddenly bring it to light without any previous warning, makes me sad.

Of course, it is my Karma, and I am glad that it is so. For, though it smarts for the time, it is another great experience of life, which will be useful, either in this or in the next.

Of course it is my Karma-and I am glad that it is sofor, though it smarts for the time, it is another great experience of life, which will be useful either in this or in the next.

If you or Miss Muller or Miss Soutter repent of the help you gave to my work-only give me time, I will try my best to pay it back….

As for me, I am always in the midst of ebbs and flows. I knew it always and preached always that every bit of pleasure will bring its quota of pain, if not with compound interest. I have a good deal of love given to me by the world; I deserve a good deal of hatred therefore. I am glad it is so — as it proves my theory of “every wave having its corresponding dip” on my own person.
As for me I stick to my nature and principle-once a friend always a friend, also the true Indian principle of looking subjectively for the cause of the objective.

I am sure that the fault is mine and mine only for every wave of dislike or hatred that I get-it could not be otherwise and thanking you and Mrs. Johnson for this calling me once more to the internal,

I remain as ever with love and blessings

VIVEKANANDA.